By Erle Morring, CAMPUSPEAK
Last night while speaking on a university campus, I witnessed an amazing act of student leadership. It occurred immediately after my anti-hazing program, Hazed and Confused, in which I share the story of the death of my fraternity little brother as well as the subsequent death of one of his pledge brothers.
Following my presentation, a student leader from each fraternity was paired with a student leader from a sorority and they were required to present to the entire Greek community about a particular aspect of hazing (i.e. — media reports, definitions, legal ramifications, university policy, alternatives to hazing, etc.) These students gave wonderful, serious and thoughtful presentations. I was amazed at what a good job each of them did articulating his or her position.
Bradley (not his real name) was truly an effective leader in front of the entire Greek community on his campus last night. Effective leaders, like Bradley, must have a goal they wish to attain and an ability to communicate that goal. Bradley’s goal was to make a mockery out of this school’s National Hazing Prevention Week activities and he succeeded wholeheartedly in his efforts.
I watched Bradley slowly strutting up to the podium and was amazed at what he said. First, he takes the microphone and announces he’s a new member of XYZ fraternity. Then says, no one has forced him to give this presentation and that he’s doing it under his own free will. Everyone in the crowd, including me, laughed at his first comment.
Then his alternatives started with guys sharing arts and crafts time together and like the first, his other alternatives were clearly designed to portray an image that all of this anti-hazing stuff was feminine, sissy-like in nature or otherwise pansy-type activities. His meaning, as I understood it, was men should be men. Men should haze. All of this stuff discussed tonight is ridiculous. And then, he then strutted off the stage with a big ‘ole smile and walked slowly down the aisle back to his seat.
Guys like him are the reason hazing continues to plague Greek communities nationwide. Students know who these members are in their organizations — the guys that love to haze, the guys that talk about what they’re going to do to the pledges during chapter meetings, the guys that force them to do all the crazy “traditions” that hazing organizations supposedly hold so dear. And all of this negative leadership from guys like Bradley results in a group think mentality that hazing is o.k., hazing is the norm and hazing is important to Greek life.
Chapters must weed out the bad seeds – the guys that cause the problems. I believe that 100% of all chapter members are not hazers. Everyone is not doing it. But the men that don’t participate in hazing, must step up to the plate, lead by example, and remove the men from the ranks of their chapter membership that cause the problems. If chapters don’t weed out the bad seeds themselves, it is quite possible the university or the national office will close the entire chapter.
It’s your choice! Choose a different path than Bradley.
Erle Morring is a nationally recognized speaker on fraternity and sorority hazing activities. He is represented by CAMPUSPEAK in Aurora, Colorado. www.campuspeak.com. 303.745.5545.
Mr. Morring
I have read your blog entry and as I am familiar with both the campus you spoke at and the specific incident you mention, I would like to offer a different view. I make no excuses for any student’s behavior as part of the presentation the Greek students were mandated to perform. You note in reference to Bradley’s actions that “his other alternatives were clearly designed to portray an image that all of this anti-hazing stuff was feminine, sissy-like in nature or otherwise pansy-type activities. His meaning, as I understood it, was men should be men. Men should haze. All of this stuff discussed tonight is ridiculous. And then, he then strutted off the stage with a big ‘ole smile and walked slowly down the aisle back to his seat.” Assuming his attitude was that “this anti-hazing stuff was feminine,” this does not provide evidence for your conclusion that this attitude means “men haze.” Your leap to this conclusion uses Bradley’s lack of attention/interest to your speech and the required presentations as evidence that he would approve of hazing.
To make this claim based upon a single observation of Bradley’s behavior, made in an environment where a young male is placed in front of a large audience of his peers, is not a fair assessment. How many of us can claim that every single action on our part is truly reflective of kind of person we are? Your use of Bradley’s action, based upon your single interaction with him, falls into the same stereotypical logic we often criticize those outside the Greek system of using. As we know in our culture when something negative about a Greek system makes the local media, many accept these claims as fact and use them to paint a broad negative picture of Greeks. Your use of Bradley in this instance to support your hazing argument relies upon conjecture. Since Bradley did provide the appropriate level of respect that you felt was necessary, you have concluded he is supportive of hazing. This is not a valid conclusion, as it is based upon a single observation and without any direct evidence of Bradley’s believes or opinions.
Your conclusion and subsequent blog are part of the challenge that those of us who work directly with the students face. People who are unfamiliar with the Greek system on a specific campus and who elect to take a single incident and then cast this as evidence of a culture supportive of hazing, are in my view counterproductive. You simply reinforce the attitude among students that university staff who work with them are looking to try and show them where they are failing, rather than where they can improve. Your blog provides my evidence, you spend a great deal of time talking about Bradley and how his efforts were so damaging to your message, yet you provide no details on the “wonderful, serious and thoughtful presentations. I was amazed at what a good job each of them did articulating his or her position.” Given your amazement, why not use your forum to highlight these “wonderful, serious and thoughtful presentations?” Instead, you have made the argument that your presentation and these “wonderful, serious and thoughtful presentations” could not withstand the impact of one young male trying to make a show of himself in front of his peers.
Bruce Skinner
AFA Member
Delta Chi Fraternity Adviser
Delta Chi Alumni Board of Trustees President
Erle was asked to write about some of the elements that perpetuate the problem of hazing. His task was not to “accentuate the positive” and glow about the kids who get it. That’s a perfectly fine blog idea, and anyone is welcome to write it. But, I thought Erle did a nice job of illustrating how young men wrongly pair the concept of masculinity and the victimization of others. This is a major part of the problem.
He also pointed out a major challenge of hazing prevention efforts – the fact that there are men and women who mock our earnest efforts. Not disagree – mock.
Re-reading Erle’s blog several times, I believe he did a good job of framing the spirit of the activity at this unnamed college. It’s an amazing activity that the people there put together. The fact that this young man insulted the spirit of the event is indicative of the greater problem.
As for your defense of this kid – that a single action is not reflective of him – perhaps you’re right. But protecting his action is ridiculous. He made a calculated decision to mock the activity, and he deserves to be called out by his peers, and yes, his advisors. You want to act like an ass in front of others? Then you’ll be viewed as an ass by others. That’s the reality.
Mr. Skinner,
I find your defense of Bradley appalling especially coming from an advisor. What Bradley chose to do was to make a mockery of why he was there in the first place – that hazing is a destructive behavior. In the lack of any other evidence Mr. Morring’s reaction and view of him is something that I’m sure is quite normal especially for someone who is not Greek – that Bradley condoned hazing. The average person does not have the time nor the inclination to sit an individual down and get his or her viewpoint about hazing. That’s not the way it works. Like it or not we live in a world where first impressions count for a lot. You want to win the hearts and minds of those who are anti-Greek and view fraternities as nothing more than animal houses? Then members need to grow up and show maturity which Bradley obviously did not. You defend him because he was in an unfamiliar situation in front of a large audience? Maybe he was nervous or wanted to lighten the mood perhaps? But it is precisely because he was in front of a large audience that he should’ve been more careful with his words. You can always disagree with the issue of hazing. You can open up a dialogue but to mock it? That’s plain disrespectful.
You make claim of the fact that “we know in our culture when something negative about a Greek system makes the local media, many accept these claims as fact and use them to paint a broad negative picture of Greeks”. Your logic that Mr. Morring’s blog singles out one incident instead of the “wonderful, serious and thoughtful presentations” does not account for the full story. Keep in mind that it only takes just ONE person or incident who deviates from the norm of the environment he is put in to make people notice.
Sadly, you almost never hear about a fraternity’s good deeds but when something bad happens or a crime is committed, it’s all over the news. Bradley stuck out like a sore thumb, so why shouldn’t he be singled out? I’m glad that you are so forgiving of Bradley’s actions because the majority of society (i.e. those who see the Greek system as useless) are not.
While I am disappointed my message is being viewed as a defense of Bradley’s behavior, I leave that to each reader to draw his or her own conclusion. My point was not to defend Bradley or to claim that his behavior should be dismissed. I would agree with what Sullivan wrote his response, if you want to act like an ass then you will be viewed as an ass. I would have no objection to anyone holding Bradley accountable for his actions, whether that is his adviser or his peers. In fact, I would expect that his specific behavior would be responded to, my objection was to use Bradley’s action to draw a conclusion that “guys like him are the reason hazing continues to plague Greek communities nationwide.” I would argue that guys like Bradley, and many other young males I have worked with in the Greek system, have grown tired to one stop presentations and forced activities trying to tell them how to conduct themselves. What they need are constant and attentive role models who are willing to commit the time and effort to demonstrate what it means to being a responsible Greek Man or Woman.